Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
