whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
