If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
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