Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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