Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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