Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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