I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
i think im in europe. pls send help
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
