Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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