He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
