My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
