I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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