you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Randomize