He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
we're making bets on your personal life
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
