I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
