she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
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