he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Randomize
