...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
