I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
the day after is always just damage control
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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