Where did you get a picture of my penis
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
