the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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