I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
40s are totally the cure
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Randomize
