There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Send help, water and tortillas.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
