I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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