Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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