I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
