Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
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