she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
