Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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