put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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