I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
