lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
