I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
