The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I understand Curling. That high.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
