wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
