No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
We have so much sex to catch up on
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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