Will you blow on my dice?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
