My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
These tits shall not be calmed
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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