i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I need a beard to bite.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
