things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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