you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
