he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
