just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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