I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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