Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
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