some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
