he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Randomize
