Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I pour the whiskey from now on
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
