You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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