Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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