sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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