your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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