I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize