i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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