check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
