i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
