When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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