the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Randomize
